3 reasons why moms are so tired

Mothers today seem to have 3 full time jobs,whether you work inside the home,outside the home,from a coffee shop or your car! We are just downright BUSY all the time.

Many would say that we HAVE to be so busy to keep up with life today. That may be true to a degree,but I believe there are at least 3 reasons why women are so exhausted all the time. You may be surprised at what these are.

3 reasons why moms are on overload

1. You do everything yourself. 

You feel like if something is going to get done,YOU have to do it. Here are a few areas you might need to lighten up:

  • Ask for your spouse’s help and accept his level of performance. So he doesn’t put a diaper on straight,BIG DEAL.
  • After working in some capacity all day,instead of fixing dinner and calling the family in when it is ready,get the kids,and hubby,to help with dinner. You’d be surprised what kids can do!
  • Laundry,housework,will the world come to an end if it isn’t done YOUR way? Again,enlist the help of the kids,and the hubby,especially if you work outside the home. Teach kids to do a good job,but accept they probably WON’T do it as well as you,but THAT IS OKAY!
  • Look for ways to use services or convenience items to lighten your load. Buy pre-cooked and pre-cut stuff at the grocery store. Consider if at this season in your life you should hire a cleaning service to come in once or twice a month.
busy mom

2. You won’t say NO.

With kids,we are presented so many opportunities to DO so many things for and with them. Consider saying NO to some of those requests. If you have a hard time saying NO,read my post Unleashing Your Inner Two Year Old.

Determine what is MOST important to you and your family,and learn to say NO to other requests. Obviously there will be times when you say YES from the goodness of your heart, but be very specific with these times. 

 3. You think that you HAVE to do things to measure up with other moms

This is a difficult one. It is one that most of us wouldn’t necessarily admit,but deep down inside we have that nagging feeling that “everyone else” does it,so I should be able to as well.

The thing is,ALL of us feel that way! We are all looking at each other in awe of how another mom gets “everything” done,while another mom is looking at you and asking herself the same question!

We run ourselves ragged trying to do what we think everyone else is doing. We are so worried that we are not measuring up to other mom’s standards. But who is setting those standards? Unfortunately the media and Hollywood have a lot to do with it,but so do we.

As women,we need to allow our self the grace and freedom to embrace our imperfection!

It is time to step up and say it is OKAY not to have it all together.

It is OKAY if our house is a wreck.

It is OKAY if we ate fast food 4 times this week.

It is OKAY if you bottle feed or use disposable diapers.

It is OKAY if you buy snack for your kids class instead of making homemade.

It is OKAY if you don’t recycle.

By allowing yourself to BE who you are,your absolutely WONDERFUL imperfect self,you free other moms to be and do the same!

 

And remember,your kids don’t NEED a perfect mom. They need a mom who loves them and is present in their lives,and is physically and emotionally well.

It is time to take care of YOU!

I’m linking this post up with Shell’s Pour Your Heart Out. and Better Mom Monday’s

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12 comments to 3 reasons why moms are so tired

  • Goodness,can I ever relate! I’m guilty of all of three of these. But you know what? I’m getting better. My kids helped make dinner the other night. I let my dad fold laundry (he put my underwear in with my 6 year olds …). Baby steps!
    Where is the ME in Mommy? recently posted..What I Think About:ResolutionMy Profile

    • Bernice

      That is awesome! Kids love to help in the kitchen! It is a great way to spend some time with them and eventually they will learn to be a BIG help to you!
      My husband drives me nuts because he just throws his socks and underwear into a drawer when he is putting laundry away. I have to just bite my tongue,it is HIS drawer after all,lol!
      Bernice

  • I need to work on saying no more.

    And I need to ask for more help from my husband.
    Shell recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out:What Pour Your Heart Out MeansMy Profile

  • I cannot believe what I have just read. So you think it’s ok to live in a messy home,eat junk,and get your KIDS to do your house work??

    If I was going to be this kind of mum I wouldn’t have kids. Yea I’m tired,but that’s because I’m not lazy and I work to provide my kids with the best.

    Sorry but I just don’t agree with anything you have said,and if me or my partner arrived home to a microwave meal after a hard days work…well both of us would be naffed off with the other.

    • Bernice

      Michelle,
      I had a feeling some readers might react to the extreme view of this post.
      In reality I am not saying that you should or shouldn’t try to do those things. What we need to do,each family,each mom,is to decide what are THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS to us. Because unless a woman has a Wonder Woman cape or a magic wand,or a trust fund to hire help,there is no way that we can DO IT ALL all of the time. So we have to make choices. And each family should choose what is important to them at the season of life they are currently in. And then be at peace with their decisions for the time being. We need to cut our selves and other women some slack.
      Bernice

  • Oh and to top it all off….let’s start teaching our kids not to recycle

  • I totally get what you mean Bernice and understand that you aren’t making the suggestion that we fail our priorities,but rather that they be our priorities and not sacrifice balance for the fear of being judged by another mom. It is a tough world of expectations out there and I really appreciate the safe place you are creating here for us all to take a deep breath and put what matters most first.

  • I enjoyed the article,probably more so because of my current situation,coming to the end of a pregnancy with twins where I just CAN’T possibly do everything for my 4 year old &2 year old. My husband is taking a much more active role these days &he likes it when I give him a list so he can contribute to the household too. I’ve also learned the importance of priorities since getting healthy babies here is a lot more important than overdoing it with some of the things that could’ve sent me into pre-term labor. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my kids or do the best I can for them,but its important to adapt to circumstances and not get too wrapped up in guilt if we aren’t as perfect as we’d like to be.

    • Bernice

      Kim,
      So glad you have made peace with your current situation. You are absolutely right,healthy babies are more important than a clean house or fancy foods. You are the perfect example of knowing that this is a season and you have learned not to let it get to you,not “too”much anyway.
      Good luck on those babies!

  • As a single mom there isn’t a husband to ask for help from,but I probably should say no to others more. It’s amazing how people will keep asking and asking and taking and taking from a single mom of four. I’m a very non-confrontational person who likes to be helpful because I understand what it’s like to need help,but a lot of people just take advantage if you don’t speak up for yourself and say no.
    Petula recently posted..When your child notices the worldMy Profile

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